Miss D's fantasy

【In April, 2008】

從一開始，剛回來的時候，過多思念與複雜的情緒，還有太多不適應不喜歡的事情，接踵而至，讓我不想也不願意清晰的面對心底最真實的感受和眼前的一切，所以，刻意的逃避了書寫心情想法的這裡…好一陣子！然後，是新工作的挑戰，讓我的生活充滿忙碌與挑戰，努力熟悉著陌生的事務以及人們，填補了生活上的空閒，我積極的學習一切並且計畫可見的未來，充實的生活平撫了我對芝加哥的思念，也提醒著我得加緊往下一個目標前進。再這同時，許久沒有重聚聯繫感情了解近況的親朋好友們，也一一的再一個又一個飯局酒攤上，回到了我的生活。

這一切，感覺熟悉又如此陌生。

總是，時不時的，還是想起了在芝加哥送走我的A。我在心裡，和他對話著，抱怨著對台北的不適應，省思對許多人事物的想法，還有我對身邊一切的心情感想。其實對著他說的這些話…其實更像是在對自己說。

四月，陽光漸漸和煦，撫上臉頰的風也漸漸溫暖，我在新工作的壓力與挑戰下，也漸漸找回對未來的衝勁與自信。一切都很滿足，如果能遇到可以分享這一切幸福的那個人，更是完美。會更好的，我對自己說！

#1

Hi A,

It’s the first morning after I got home and I am so not used to everything. My mother said it has been raining for couple days already continually. This weather makes me feel my body is going to grow some mushroom. I don’t know how I got over the humid days before I came to the State. I think I just start missing Chicago already.

Ever since I got home, there are a lot of stupid things and pressure comes to me which I got to figure them out then deal with these crap.

My room is so dusty because it has been kept everything the same as two years ago, by the time when I left. The cat shaped wooden statue I brought in Bali Island is still stand next to the window. My red Ikea sofa is still in the corner with a bunch of magazine aside. However, I am no longer the girl as two years ago so I think I will clean out so many stuffs then start my new life here again. It’s a pretty weird feeling that my family think everything will go back as before but I know I am different as they think.

No matter how I complain this sucks place, it’s my home sweet home forever. So I will redecorate this room as present Delia’ s and then make everything just fine or better!

Miss Chicago, miss you.

D in TPE

2/8/08

#2

Hi A,

Happy Birthday to you my dear friend!

I know you’ve been busy for school recently that makes you hardly take a breath, but it’s just life! The only thing you can do is overcome and get over all this shit then turn to a better person. By the time you will realized all the things you’ve experienced are worthy.

No one has a perfect life. If life is a round circle, everyone definitely has a lost piece of the circle and the missing piece could be family, friend, or love…etc. To me, family part is my lost piece of the circle because family is always a complicated problem to me to deal with properly. However, it’s a serious thing to me that I have to face it everyday even thought I don’t really want to. I have always tried to leave the complex family problem behind but I never make it successfully which could be possibly the reason I am used to carelessly ignore the complicated stuff in my life.

Do you remember I’ve told you that I am fearless to lose anything because I own nothing literally which is my attitude to embrace the entire chaotic world. Even so, however, I still look forward to love and be love someday when I meet the one. I always believe love is the most supportive power that leads to the wonderland with happily ever after. So….I wish you love….someday, both of us are able to face the love in front of us.

Happy Bday and Love bravely!

Delia

3/25/08 in Taipei

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I WISH YOU LOVE
I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
And then a kiss
But more than this
I wish you love
And in July a lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
And more than wealth
I wish you love
My breaking heart and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best
My very best
I set you free
I wish you shelter from the storm
And a cozy fire to keep you warm
And most of all
When snowflakes fall
I wish you love